Why did the blind man cross the road?
To get a Mars Bar
Do you get it?
Neither did he....
Yo Mamma is so fat she fell in love and broke it Razz
Paddy and fatasspete1 were throwing stones at the ground and pete missed.
Your mums so fat when she jumped for joy she got stuck...
why did the kid stare at the orange juice?
because it said concentrate....
A blonde and a brunette were sitting in a bar watching the 10pm news. There was a news story on about a woman about to jump off the Brooklyn bridge. The brunette says to the blonde "I bet you £50 she'll jump." So the blonde says, "OK, I bet you £50 she won't."
5 mins later it shows the woman jumping off the bridge.
The blonde goes to get the £50 out but the brunette says "No I can't take that money, I watched the 6pm news, I already knew what happened."
To which the blonde replies, "I watched the 6pm news as well but I didn't think she'd jump again!"
A blonde walks in to a store and asks the shopkeeper how much is the Tv in the window and he says sorry we dont sell to blondes so she leaves confused.
10 minutes later she comes back wearing a brown wig and again asks the sgopkeeper how much is the Tv in the window and again he says sorry we dont sell to blondes, now shes wondering how he knows.
So an hour later she comes back again with a black wig and AGAIN asks how much is the Tv in the window and AGAIN he says WE DONT SELL TO BLONDES and se says how do you know im blonde and he replies because its NOT A TV ITS A FUCKING MICROWAVE!
A blonde is pissed off with people constantly making blonde jokes so she goes off in a huff and goes for a ride through the country. She is driving past a field when she notices a blonde trying to row a boat in the field. Angered, she gets out of her car and yells from the fence at the edge of the field "What the fuck are you doing?! It's because of blondes like you that we get made fun of and if I could swim I'd come over there and give you a piece of my mind!"